SHORT CHRISTIAN READINGS SELECTED FOR FORMER JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
THE PAIN OF GRIEF -- IT HURTS
By Jan Groenveld
(edited)
The following is how former cult members and members of spiritually abusive systems described how they felt when they finally left their group. This may give you some insight into their pain and why there are no easy answers for them.
Leaving a cult is like experiencing the death of a close relative or a broken relationship. The feeling is often described as like having been betrayed by someone with whom you were in love. You feel you were simply used. There is a grieving process to pass through. Whereas most people understand that a person must grieve after a death etc, they find it difficult to understand the same applies in this situation. There is no instant cure for the grief, confusion and pain. Like all grieving periods, time is the healer. Some feel guilty, or wrong about this grief. They shouldn't -- It IS normal. It is NOT wrong to feel confused, uncertain, disillusioned, guilty, angry, untrusting - these are all part of the process. In time the negative feelings will be replaced with clear thinking, joy, peace, and trust.
YES, IT HURTS. BUT THE HURT WILL HEAL WITH TIME -- PATIENCE & UNDERSTANDING. There is life after the cult.
IT HURTS
IT HURTS to discover that you were deceived -- that what you thought was the "one true religion", the "path to total freedom", or "the truth" was in reality a cult.
IT HURTS when you learn that people you trusted implicitly -- whom you were taught not to question -- were "pulling the wool over your eyes" -- albeit unwittingly.
IT HURTS when you learn that those whom you were told were liars, deceivers, and satanic, and taught were your "enemies" were actually telling you the truth after all -- but you had been told by the real liars, deceivers, repressive, and satanic people not to listen to them.
IT HURTS when you know that your faith in God hasn't changed -- only your trust in an organization changed, rightfully so -- yet you were accused of being a trouble maker, then an "apostate", and even a "Judas". It hurts even more so, when it is your family and friends making such false accusations.
IT HURTS to realize that the love and acceptance of your family and friends was conditional on you remaining an active member in good standing in their little cult. This cuts so deeply you try and suppress it. All you want to do is forget -- but how can you forget your family and friends?
IT HURTS to see the looks of hatred and despise coming from the faces of those you love -- to hear the deafening silence when you try to talk to them. It cuts deeply when you try to give your own children a hug and a kiss, but they stand stiff like a statue, pretending you aren't there. It stabs like a knife when you know your spouse looks upon you as demonized and teaches your children to hate you.
IT HURTS to know you must start all over again. You feel like you have wasted so much time and effort. You feel betrayed, disillusioned, suspicious of everyone, including family, friends, and other former cult members.
IT HURTS when you find yourself feeling guilty or even ashamed of what you once were -- even about escaping from the cult. You feel depressed, confused, and lonely. You find it difficult to make decisions. You don't know what to do with yourself, because you have so much spare time on your hands now -- yet you still feel guilty doing leisure activities.
IT HURTS when you feel as though you have lost touch with reality. You feel as though you are "floating", and wonder if you really are better off now, and you long for the security you once had inside the cult, all while you know absolutely that you will not go back.
IT HURTS when you feel you are all alone - that no one seems to understand what you are feeling. It hurts when you realize your self confidence and self worth are almost non-existent.
IT HURTS when you have to face up to those few people who had so warned you -- to listen to their "I told you so" -- whether that statement is verbal or facial. It makes you feel even more stupid than you already do -- your confidence and self worth plummet even further.
IT HURTS when you realize you gave up everything for the cult -- your education, career, finances, time, and energy - and now you have to attempt to seek necessary employment, or restart your education. How do you explain all those missing and wasted years to the new people whom you will encounter?
IT HURTS because you know that even though you were deceived -- you are responsible for being taken in -- for swallowing the bait hook, line, and sinker. All that wasted time. All that wasted effort. All that waste. At least, that is what depression makes things seem to you now.
BUT, you now have the greatest opportunity of your lifetime. You have life experience and education had by few others. At a time when many of your peers are slowing down and allowing life to pass THEM by, you will be in the fast lane as they watch and envy you as you go further than you or them ever expected, and maybe even to a final destination that you never before even contemplated.
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IN WHOM WILL YOU PLACE YOUR FAITH?
(Edited unknown author)
Jehovah's Witnesses are not allowed to interpret the Bible on their own.
"A Christian needs Jehovah's theocratic organization in order to understand the Bible." -- WT 6-15-51, p.375.
"The Bible is an organization book and belongs to the Christian organization as an organization, not to individuals, regardless of how sincerely they believe that they can interpret the Bible. For this reason the Bible cannot be properly understood without Jehovah's visible organization in mind." -- WT 10-1-67 p.587.
"Jehovah God caused the Bible to be written in such a way that one needs to come in touch with His human channel before one can fully and accurately understand it ... we cannot find the scriptural guidance we need outside the "faithful and discreet slave" organization." -- WT 2-15-81 pp. 17,19.
"They say that it is sufficient to read the Bible exclusively, either alone or in small groups at home. But strangely, through such 'Bible reading,' they have reverted right back to the apostate doctrines that commentaries by Christendom's clergy were teaching 100 years ago." WT 8-15-81 pp.28,29
"... no personal Bible reading and interpretation ..." -- WT 6-1-85 p.20.
"Let us face the fact that no matter how much Bible reading we have done, we would never have learned the truth on our own." -- WT 12-1-90 p.19.
"Of course help is needed. It is unlikely that someone who simply reads the Bible without taking advantage of divinely provided aids could discern the light. That is why Jehovah God has provided "the faithful and discreet slave," foretold in Matthew 24:45-47. Today that 'slave' is represented by the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses." -- WT 5-1-92 p.31.
Even Charles Taze Russell, the founder of the WatchTower Bible & Tract Society had this to say about his self-authored volumes of "Scripture Studies":
"The volumes are the Bible in an arranged form. That is to say, they are not merely comments on the Bible, but they are practically the Bible itself. ... If anyone lays the SCRIPTURE STUDIES aside and ignores them and goes to the Bible alone, ... our experience shows that within two years he goes into darkness. On the other hand, if he had merely read the SCRIPTURE STUDIES with the references, and had not read a page of the Bible, he would be in the light at the end of the two years." -- WT 9-15-10 p.298.
What a left-handed admission! If you read the Bible for yourself, you do NOT reach the same conclusions that the WatchTower Society teaches!
TO WHOM DO JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES LOOK FOR THEIR SALVATION?
The WATCHTOWER SOCIETY teaches:
"Come to Jehovah's organization for salvation." -- WT 11-15-81 p.21.
"Jehovah God has also provided his visible organization, his 'faithful and discreet slave,' ... unless we are in touch with this channel of communication that God is using, we will not progress along the road to life, no matter how much Bible reading we do." -- WT 12-1-81 p.27.
"To receive everlasting life in the earthly paradise, we must identify that organization and serve God as part of it." -- WT 2-15-83 p.12.
"Bible students ... must appreciate that identifying themselves with Jehovah's organization is essential to their salvation." -- Our Kingdom Ministry, November 1990.
"PUT FAITH IN A VICTORIOUS ORGANIZATION" WT 3/1/79 p.12.
Since they must come to it for salvation, the organization becomes, in effect, the Savior for Jehovah's Witnesses. And since they must give it unquestioning obedience, the organization becomes their Lord. This borders on idolatry. In fact, the Watchtower Society has acknowledged in the past that an organization can actually become an object of idolatrous worship by its followers:
"If one renders obedient service to someone or something, whether willingly or under compulsion, looking up to such, as possessing a position of superior rulership and great authority, then that one can scripturally be said to be a worshipper." -- WT 9-1-61 p.525.
"... idolatrous worshiper of a man-made organization." -- WT 12-1-71 p.723.
OBEDIENCE TO THE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY
When the WatchTower Society speaks, Jehovah's Witnesses must listen and obey -- for they are taught that it is Jehovah himself speaking through the publications of the WatchtowerSociety:
"God has, however, graciously provided a means of communication among the remnant. For years he has used The Watchtower [magazine] as such means of communication, and its columns are constantly used in an effort to give forth the truth to the remnant. It is not man's truth, but it is God's truth; and therefore the channel or instrument is God's, and not man's." -- Preservation, 1932, p.104.
"This does not signify that the faithful remnant or society of Jehovah's anointed witnesses are an earthly tribunal of interpretation delegated to interpret the Scriptures and its prophecies. No; Christ Jesus the King has not entrusted that office to them. The SUPREME COURT still interprets, thank God; and Christ Jesus, the court's official mouthpiece of interpretation, reserves to himself that office as Head of Jehovah's "faithful and wise servant" class. He merely uses the "servant" class to publish the interpretation after the Supreme Court by Christ Jesus reveals it." -- WT 7/1/43 p.203.
Watchtower literature has made clear the reprimands about obeying without question the commands of the organization. Here is a sampling of what they have openly published:
"We should eat and digest and assimilate what is set before us, without shying away from parts of the food because it may not suit the fancy of our mental taste. The truths we are to publish are the ones provided through the discreet slave organization, not some personal opinions contrary to what the slave has provided as timely food." -- WT 2-1-52 p.79.
"We should meekly go along with the Lord's theocratic organization and wait for further clarification, rather than balk at the first mention of a thought unpalatable to us and proceed to quibble and mouth our criticisms and opinions as though they were worth more than the slave's provision of spiritual food. Theocratic ones will appreciate the Lord's visible organization and not be so foolish as to pit against Jehovah's channel their own human reasoning and sentiment and personal feelings" -- WT 2-1-52 p.80.
"Since The Watchtower [magazine] assists in understanding the Bible, its study is imperative. Private study of the magazine is essential ... If we have love for Jehovah and for the organization of his people, we shall not be suspicious, but shall, as the Bible says, 'believe all things,' all the things that The Watchtower brings out." -- Qualified To Be Ministers, 1967, p.156.
"Would not a failure to respond from direction from God through his organization really indicate a rejection of divine rulership?" -- WT 2-15-76 p.124.
"The apostate makes himself a decider of what is true and what is false; of what is "good and bad" in the way of spiritual food...We should be thankful for the abundant spiritual food we are receiving through the "faithful and discreet slave." -- WT 8-1-80 p.20.
"FIGHT AGAINST INDEPENDENT THINKING"
"There are some who point out that the organization has had to make adjustments before, and so they argue, 'This shows that we have to make up our own mind on what to believe.'" This is independent thinking. Why is it so dangerous? If we get to thinking that we know better than the organization, we should ask ourselves: "Where did we learn Bible truth in the first place? Would we know the way of the truth if it had not been for guidance from the organization? Really, can we get along without the direction from God's organization?" No, we cannot!" -- WT 1-15-83 p.27.
Most Jehovah's Witnesses are not aware of the severity of the WatchTower Society's demands until they experience for themselves the harsh and cruel consequences of daring to pit themselves against the organization's unyielding standards. Unfortunately, however, when they finally realize this -- it is too late. Many lives have been shattered and multitudes of homes have been broken as a result of the heartless punishments that the Society inflicts on its unwary members.
The point of the claim of unquestionable obedience to the Society's authority is that if the Watchtower Society is going to excuse themselves from their past false prophecies and their sweeping doctrinal changes by claiming to be fallible men, then they should excuse individual Jehovah's Witnesses who do not accept their predictions as coming from Jehovah. However, if they are going to insist on complete submission to their dictates, then they MUST be 100% accurate in all they say and consistent in all that they teach!
IS THE "ORGANIZATION" THE ANSWER?
FIFTEEN YEARS before making the asinine comment cited above, Charles Taze Russell saw the danger of putting faith in an organization, and he even warned against it in early issues of the same magazine that now promotes itself as mankind's "savior":
"Beware of organization. It is wholly unnecessary. The Bible rules will be the only rules you will need. Do not seek to bind others' consciences, and do not permit others to bind yours. Believe and obey so far as you can understand God's Word." -- Zion's Watch Tower, Sept. 15, 1895, p.216.
The Bible itself also warns against putting trust in an earthly organization:
"This is what Jehovah has said: "cursed is the able bodied man who puts his trust in earthling man and actually makes flesh his arm, and whose heart turns away from Jehovah himself." -- Jeremiah 17:5.
God has always had a people, not a tightly knit organization resembling a business. God should not be expected to work through or recognize such institutions as if they are his "representatives." The Israelites in the wilderness were the closest God's people have ever come to being an "organization," as this was God's will at that time. Yet Adam, Enoch, Noah, Job, and the "prophets" were not "organized."
Even the early church was far from being tightly organized.The records of the early Apostolic Church reveal that they were worlds apart from being a regimented, well-oiled machine. Unity came from their spirits being united by a love for Christ.
We all long and search for the ideal Christian community; we esteem the New Testament church as our foundation and its fellowship as the goal for our community life. But we frequently forget that the New Testament church was constantly beset with doctrinal, behavioral, even social problems. The Corinthians, for example, tolerated sexual aberration, misunderstood the resurrection of the dead, and misused the gifts of the Spirit, and some even got drunk at Communion services. The Galatians misrepresented the gospel and turned to legalism for a time. The church in Colosse mixed Christian teachings with heathen world-views.
THE WATCHTOWER GOSPEL
The WatchTower Society proudly claims that its Jehovah's Witnesses members are the only ones preaching "the good news of God's Kingdom in these last days". This "good news" is the main teaching of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Their doctrine is that in the year 1914, Jesus set up an invisible kingdom in heaven and that it will soon destroy all earthly kingdoms at Armageddon. This will result in a Paradise earth filled only Jehovah's Witnesses. That is their message preached, in whole or in part.
"What is the principle theme of the message Jehovah's Witnesses preach? ... In the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed." -- AWAKE! 4-22-57 pp. 11,12.
"What vital thing has now been added to the good news of the kingdom of God that Jesus Christ and his zealous apostles used to preach nineteen hundred years ago? This, namely, the birth of God's Messianic kingdom in the heavens at the end of the Gentile Times in 1914 ... God's Messianic kingdom was indeed born in the heavens at the due time in 1914 and the "this good news of the kingdom" means the fresh, brand new information that tells of God's established kingdom." -- WT 12/15/67 p.753, 754.
"Let the honest-hearted person compare the kind of preaching of the gospel of the kingdom done by the religious systems of Christendom during all the centuries with that done by Jehovah's Witnesses since the end of World War I in 1918. They are not one and the same kind. That of Jehovah's Witnesses is really "gospel," or "good news," as of God's heavenly kingdom that was established by the enthronement of his son Jesus Christ at the end of the Gentile Times in 1914." -- WT 5/1/81 p.17.
The gospel of the Jehovah's Witnesses is NOT the same as that of the Apostles. The Watchtower gospel is "another gospel" than that which was "once for all delivered to the saints." In fact, the WatchTower Society boasts that their gospel is new and different and not the same as the religious systems of mainstream orthodox Christianity.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY IS THE TRUE GOSPEL?
Jesus nowhere in the Bible preached the need to join any kind of "organized" group through which to obtain salvation and eternal life. Instead, He said: "Come to ME for eternal life." -- John 5:39,40.
John 10 28 -- "I give eternal life." [not a church or an organization]
John 14:6 -- "I am the way, the truth, and the life ..."
The Bible says: "The Holy Spirit indwells you and teaches you ... the anointing which you have received from him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you. ..." -- 1 John 2:27.
"Now I make known to you brethren, the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received, in which also you stand, by which also you are saved, if you hold fast the word which I preached to you, unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures." -- I Corinthians 15:1-4.
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." -- Romans 1:16.
Romans 1:16 shows that people have to put faith in the good news (gospel) to be saved. To the Apostle Paul, the preservation of the one true gospel is so critical that he delivers these warnings to the Christian churches:
"But I am afraid, lest as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds should be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ. ... For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, you bear this beautifully." -- II Corinthians 11:3,4.
The Bible says that there is only ONE true gospel, and that there is a warning about the presence of DIFFERENT gospels:
"I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the Grace of Christ, for a different gospel which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you, and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even though we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to that which we have preached to you, let him be accursed." -- Galatians 1:6-8.
The Apostle Paul affirms that the true gospel has already been preached:
"... I felt the necessity to write to you appealing that you contend earnestly for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints." -- Jude 3.
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BEATING THE SHEEP
By David Henke
(edited)
For anyone living in America during the last quarter century, the concept of abuse at the hands of those in positions of power, is quite familiar. There is child abuse, spousal abuse, workplace discrimination, mistreatment of the elderly in nursing homes, and many other examples. The reality of abusive behavior is as real as man's sin nature.
During the last ten years, Christian authors have published numerous books on the subject of spiritual abuse. Is this happening because our society is very conscious of abuse, now, and the Christian community is simply applying that consciousness introspectively? Or, is it a response to a growing problem. Perhaps both causes are true.
In the last quarter-century, there has been an explosion of independent religious groups. That, in itself, is not a problem. But, a problem may arise where there is a deficient polity coupled with a leader who fails to understand the necessity of two-way accountability. When such a situation occurs and there is no authority higher than the local leadership it can leave the membership without a means for correcting the abuse. The authors of the recent books on spiritual abuse found the vast majority of their examples among these groups.
Spiritual Abuse Defined
Spiritual abuse could be defined as the injury of a person's spiritual health. The cause could arise from a doctrinal error, or, it could be the result of a person trying to meet a legitimate need by an illegitimate means that weakens another person's spiritual health.
Inclination toward abuse in the spiritual arena is a human condition that can find expression wherever you find people engaged in spiritual activities. Cults are expert at achieving their ends using this method. The Bible talks a lot about this practice.
God's Attitude
One of the most dramatic condemnations of spiritual abuse in scripture is found in Ezekiel 34.
"And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks?
"Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock. The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.
"And they were scattered, because there is no shepherd: and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered.
"My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and upon every high hill: yea, my flock was scattered upon the face of the earth, and none did search or seek after them."
This description of the "shepherds of Israel" is the antithesis of the ministry of Jesus, the Good Shepherd. He strengthened the weak, bound up the broken, sought the lost sheep of Israel, and was a servant leader.
What must be the attitude of Jesus to those who would be spiritual shepherds but devour the spiritual health of their people? We get a glimpse of it in His reaction to the moneychangers in the Temple. The people of God were coming to the Temple to make their appropriate sacrifices in obedience to God. The moneychangers and others were fraudulently making profits at their expense. Jesus reaction was violent anger.
Another example is found in Jesus' description of the Pharisees in Matthew 23. He called them hypocrites to their faces and in front of the people. The Pharisees were willing to enforce their traditions on the people but not willing to care for them as would a shepherd. See The News & Views, Vol. 3, #5 for a discussion of this passage.
We can see in such passages that the abuser does not care for the welfare of those he leads as much as he cares for himself or the ideas he has. Aberrant groups tend to be established around some "wind of doctrine" or persuasive personality. When you examine the founding of the major cults of today you will find this to be the model.
What Spiritual Abuse Looks Like
The first sign of an abusive group is that it is authoritarian. When it comes right down to it, control is more important than personal spiritual welfare. Leaders in an authoritarian system are not teachable. The attitude, like that of the Pharisees, is that they are the teachers and rulers of God's people, not their servants.
They may say they are teachable, but then set up rules which you must follow to approach them. Then they interpret those rules to rule you out of order. The former members of one particular group described to the author how their leader used this method to avoid accountability. He kept pointing out how their "heart is not right" in the way they brought issues to him.
It seems there is an innate consciousness on the part of false leadership that what is real is different than what is shown. Hence, two other characteristics, image consciousness and suppression of criticism, are necessary to keep the system intact.
Even the Soviet Union acted this way. They jammed the Voice of America, used their domestic press for propaganda, and sent dissidents to the Gulag. If what is preached is true, and is followed by those holding power, then accountability is nothing to fear.
Another sign of an abusive system is perfectionism. This can arise out of a theology that requires works for salvation, or to keep one's salvation. All cults practice this idea, which leads to spiritual exhaustion. It also leads to disillusionment or self-condemnation because perfection cannot be achieved.
A performance-based relationship with God is a useful tool for accumulating power and wealth in the group's leaders. This will generally be evident in the lifestyle of cult leaders compared to that of the membership.
Finally, you will almost always find an area of significant imbalance in the teachings, or practice, of abusive groups. The imbalance may show up as an unreasonable prohibition or an excessive burden. Commitment to this imbalance is a test of loyalty for the members, whether they realize it or not.
Conclusion
It must be our individual responsibility to be aware of the modern manifestations of Pharisaism. We must be ready to speak out, like Jesus, on behalf of others.
We need to be prepared to help those who have been spiritually injured by modern Pharisees, and a performance-based theology of salvation. What do these people need? First, and foremost, your unconditional friendship, willingness to listen to their horror stories without judgment, and reflection of the model of Jesus to them.
They also need time, probably a lot of time, to let the wound heal. But healing can only begin when the injury ceases for them AND the healing environment described above is present. Most spiritual abuse victims carry their injury with them all their lives. They can be healed and the good news is, when they are they usually become zealous to help others who have been likewise affected.
The man born blind was "cast out" of the Temple by the Pharisees because he said Jesus healed him. They were valuing their power and prestige more than they valued the man, or the truth. Being "cast out" of the Temple was a form of ex-communication, or disfellowshipping.
When Jesus heard the man had been cast out of the Temple He sought him out to minister to his spiritual need (John 9). This is our model as followers of Christ.
Books on Spiritual Abuse
Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse By Jeff VanVonderen
Healing Spiritual Abuse By Ken Blue
Toxic Faith By Arterburn and Felton
Churches That Abuse By Ron Enroth
Recovering From Churches That Abuse By Ron Enroth
Wisdom Hunter By Randall Arthur (fiction)
Betrayal By Randall Arthur (fiction)
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Spiritual Abuse in the Bible?
By David Henke
"Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks? Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock. With force and with cruelty have ye ruled them" (Ezekiel 34:2-4).
Spiritual abuse has a very prominent place in the Bible, though that terminology has not been used until recently. In the scripture it is called bondage to men and the traditions of men. It is a by-product and outgrowth of legalism, which is bondage to the letter of the law.
Mark 3 describes the scene as Jesus enters a synagogue on the Sabbath and encounters a man with a withered hand. The Pharisees watched to see what Jesus would do. They must have been threatened, or offended, by this man's regard for the needy at the expense of their rules, because Jesus saw and knew they would try to accuse Him of "working" on the Sabbath. He also knew that He was going to heal the man, so He used a question to set up the Pharisees to be seen as the hypocrites they were. He asked, "Is it lawful to do good on the Sabbath days, or to do evil? To save life, or to kill?"
The potential answers to this question for the Pharisees presented unacceptable dilemmas. It is like the question, "Have you stopped beating your wife?" It is certainly not lawful to do evil, or kill, on the Sabbath, which left the Pharisees with just one other choice. And that choice pitted the Pharisees against their own traditions and interpretation of the Law. Jesus also knew they wanted to kill Him when he included the reference to killing in His question. That is exactly what the Pharisees began to do when they left.
There is a lesson in this passage for anyone dealing with an abusive religious system. If you challenge, disagree, oppose, or in any way offend, you cannot leave with your reputation intact. In the most severely dysfunctional groups you may even lose your life, as Jesus did.
What Is Spiritual Abuse?
Spiritual abuse, as we are addressing it here, could be defined as the injury of a person's spiritual health. It is the use of religion and spiritual concepts to gain or maintain undue power over another. The cause could arise from a doctrinal error that puts a person into a performance-based relationship with God. Or, it could be the result of a person trying to meet their legitimate need by an illegitimate means that weakens their own or another person's spiritual health.
Typically an abusive religious system will have the following characteristics:
Undue Loyalty to Leaders - The leadership is held to be anointed by God and followers taught they should submit in anything it requires. It is taught that God will bless that submission even if the leader is wrong.
Authoritarian - The system is characterized by rules and a power structure that is unaccountable to those who follow.
Appearance is Everything - As Jeff VanVonderen says, "How things look is more important than what is real." (Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, page 130)
Perfectionistic - Works are necessary for salvation, to keep one's salvation, or to keep God's blessing.
Unbalanced - There is usually a majoring on minors that makes the group distinctive from others.
Another "Victimization" Cause?
With all the publicity about people being victimized by this or that activity, or group, there is an inevitable backlash. Some "victims" milk the public's sympathy for the weak being abused by the strong.
There is more to this problem, however, than people "who need to "get a life", find some backbone, become more self-reliant, etc. Spiritual abuse is one of the defining characteristics of all cults, and because it is a human failing, it can occur anywhere there are people gathered around a religious purpose.
Scriptural Precedent
Spiritual abuse is prominently discussed in scripture. The strongest, most emotional and even violent responses Jesus displayed came against spiritual abusers. From the above-described encounter between Jesus and the Pharisees in the synagogue to the cleansing of the Temple, Jesus confronted those who misused their spiritual authority at the expense of those who followed them. Let's look at some passages.
Jeremiah 5:26-31 describes a perversion of justice in Israel where those in authority, the prophets and priests, were adding to their own wealth, power, and prestige at the expense of the needy. This angered God Who asked, "Shall I not visit for these things?" This same perversion of justice is described again in Jeremiah 6:13-14 where the false leaders give lip service to healing, saying, "Peace, peace; when there is no peace." Needy people left these spiritual authorities with no real help and God was angry for that. An authoritarian leader will seek to be unaccountable for his actions, or inactions, this side of heaven.
Luke 15:1, 2 tells the attitude of the Pharisees about Jesus' relationship with Publicans and sinners. Jesus dares to share a meal with them. The Pharisees conclude that Jesus must not care about his own spiritual purity if He associates with people of such low moral character. The attitude of the Pharisees illustrates a chasm that really did exist between the lowly sinner, who knew he was a sinner, and the self-righteous Pharisee. The religious leaders were saying by their attitude that you must rise to a level of acceptability before we will accept you. This is perfectionism and it is a denial of grace. God's attitude, however, is that He will come to you and meet you where you are.
Matthew 23 is a long description by Jesus of the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. He says they have seated themselves in "Moses seat," the position of authority, and they command things that they themselves will not do. They bind heavy burdens on people but they will not carry the loads. Jesus then goes on to utter seven "Woes" on the Pharisees for their hypocrisy. The meek and mild Jesus resorts to words like "hypocrites!" "whited sepulchers," "serpents," and more. Talk about name-calling! I would hate to be on the receiving end of that when it is coming from God. But the humble sinners, who knew they were sinners, were attracted to this caring, straight-talking man. Jesus was real and the Pharisees were all appearance.
Again, in Matthew 23 Jesus tells the Pharisees to their face, and before the public, that they are unbalanced in their weighting of issues. Judgment, mercy and faith are given insufficient weight but a tithe on the produce from their garden plots is paid with precise measure (vss. 23-24). Jesus said they strain out the gnat but swallow whole camels. Where was their judgment and mercy in verse 14 where Jesus said they devour widows' houses? But, they did pay tithes! They were skilled at applying the letter of the Law to every life situation but had lost the spirit of the Law along the way. This was why the people were alienated from them, and fearful. And, it is why Jesus found a ready reception of His ministry among the public. Jesus illustrated the balance between the spirit and the letter when dealing with the woman taken in adultery.
God's Attitude Toward Abuse
The damage done by spiritual abuse is very deep, much deeper than most would ever imagine unless it had been experienced. The damage is deep because of the vulnerability of the victim.
Think for a moment; when a believer enters a church is he going to put his guard up, or down? Does he not consider himself to be among those most interested in his welfare? The church is seen as a refuge.
With the idea that one is among those who are there to help and not hurt, a person is much more vulnerable to the damage that can come from someone who gives him a burden, or a rule, or a judgment based upon the traditions of men (Matthew 15:9b).
When a believer acts, believing what they are told to be from God, but it turns out to be false, he can experience disappointment and disillusionment not only with the person who led him in the counsel, but toward God Himself. That is why spiritual abuse is so serious in God's eyes.
Jeff VanVonderen observes that the symptoms exhibited by one who suffers spiritual abuse are point by point the same as a victim of incest. Each is a case of a trusted caregiver violating that trust in one of the most intimate parts of our human nature.
The heart of God toward the weak, and those who follow the strong, is illustrated in the familiar statement by Jesus regarding children. "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."
In verse three Jesus equates a new convert to this little child. The lesson is that we must use our influence carefully, wisely, and consistent with the Law of Love.
James makes this point in chapter 3, verse 1, when he says, " My brethren, be not many masters (Greek, didaskaloi - teachers), knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation." There are damaging spiritual consequences to followers when a spiritual leader misleads, therefore there are more severe consequences from God for that leader.
Perhaps the longest lasting damage from spiritual abuse is loss of ability to trust. Mark Twain said that a cat that walked on a hot stove would never walk on a hot stove again. But then, it would not walk on a cold stove either.
Many abuse victims never again darken the door of a church. To them it represents too much danger.
Recovery
How does a person recover from spiritual abuse? And, how fully can be that recovery?
Recovery can be a long process. It's rather like recovery from the amputation of a limb, or removal of a diseased organ. You will never be the same again but you can learn to function in a healthy way.
However, recovery seldom happens without help from someone who understands that the injury is real and deep. It is useless and unwise to tell a spiritual abuse victim to "just get over it," or "put it behind you." They can't. It is a big elephant in the middle of their life.
Recovery begins with the truth of John 8:32. "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." Knowing the truth about what happened, and grasping the Truth of God's Word, is the starting point for recovery. Just knowing the injury has a name and identifying traits, can be liberating.
Next it is important to know how spiritual abuse impacted that particular individual. What made him vulnerable? How was his trust cultivated and then violated?
Emotions must be allowed to be expressed. There is anger, grief, hurt, and loss. Just as in the loss of a loved one in death, a person needs time to reconcile his emotions with reality. Here is where a loving and gracious Christian can give the greatest help. A caring heart, a quiet mouth and a listening ear are the important resources.
It is very important for a victim to know that he is not alone. Many others have experienced what he is going through.
Most victims go through a stage of self doubt. They may wonder if this is a judgment of God that came about because of something wrong with themselves. It is important for these who suffer to know the wrong and hurt came about when they were led to believe a lie. They need the consensual validation of hearing from others who went through similar experiences.
Finally healing comes when the individual is able to give help to others out of his own experience. The ideal setting for this is a support group.
This writer has felt for many years that there needs to be a bridge between the abusive experience in their past and a grace oriented church to which they will eventually go, or maybe are now trying to re-learn to trust.
That bridge needs to be their "Church In Between" a place of refuge that will function as a church, with understanding of their responses. Because, they are still like the cat that walked on that hot stove.
I recommend the following books for those of you who wish to learn more about this subject.
Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by Jeff VanVonderen.
Toxic Faith by Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton